Lesson Learned

I am exhausted.  Physically, mentally, emotionally, etc.  It is Finals week, and although I only have three to prepare for, the studying is enough to cover five.

The most exhausted part though is to think of my break coming up.  I don't have a chance to ever just relax over my my breaks.  Now that everyone lives in a different house or state, I find myself constantly thinking about the next step in who I will be visiting next.  I am never able to unpack my things.  Worst of all it reminds me of the summer, where I never felt like I belonged anywhere.  Over Thanksgiving break I just wanted to get back to my apartment in Morgantown. 

Ugh.

Chasing Pavements

Thanks to a recent Washington Post Article, I can turn any of my favorite blogs into a Wordle! Clouds of the most used words in a certain body of text...or in this case my blog all together! Looks like I need to start blogging about new things!

Check it Out!

Love Potion #9

I never think of public transportation as a chore. The metro isn't that bad and I enjoy being able to navigate through it easily. The buses here are quite nice, very clean, and overly air conditioned. What more could a girl ask for? Usually I simply read a book while I am riding, but my latest book -being written as a steady stream of consciousness- has been difficult to get into. So I have been resorting to my ipod. I listen to it with noise silencing ear phones.

I believe noise silencing ear phones are one of the seven wonders of the world -or eight? I can't hear ANYTHING except the sound of music. The regular bustling in the streets and stuffed metro trains are muted and I am happily transported to a movie about me, which has a fantastic soundtrack...if I do say so myself. My only problem is my odd paranoia that kept me from using my ipod in the first place.

I always have this fear that someone is going to yell out my name, tell me to duck, or dodge a bullet. I will be stuck in my little world totally oblivious to the fact that my impending death is coming from behind during the second verse of "Nessun Dorma". (I've always been the dramatic type) Even visions of me being attacked while dancing happily or even strutting to songs have come to me. Luckily I have found solutions to this:

*Make sure to always have my back to against walls, sliding against them will help
*Stay away from everyone at all costs. That means no small talk, direction giving, eye contact, and/or polite smiling is allowed.
*Go up down escalators and down up escalators, that way killers will be confused
*Run at all costs at all times when not sitting down.
*Never sit down, that's vulnerable
*Also run backwards so you can keep your eyes on people.

Public transportation will be safe! I might look like a victim of M. Night Shyamalan's latest movie The Happening, but hey at least I won't be interrupted! ...

Take that Cheese to Tijuana

Info about the infamous band I am a part off (Incase You Haven't Heard Of Us):

Name: (The) Labial Folds

Members: Vicious and Liqueur

Status: Currently touring and writing autographs for adoring fans

Style: Interpretive, Rock, Alternative, Improve, Kick ass

First Cd: Bitches Be Crazy and So Be You!

#1 All Time Hit: "Hey Ya Hey Ya Radar"



When you join the band's Facebook Group, Be sure to check out the quiz, to find out which (The) Labial Folds band member you are!


LIQUEUR OUT!!!

Gravity

I am in the mood to write, but everytime I start I stop...This writer's block is heavy, and I have no arm strength. I will be back once some one has moved it for me, which is usually the case...

Where I Stand

So, I have officially moved into my fathers. Which is fun. It is working out quite nicely for many reasons:

1. I like cats and miss my own, Devon and Dad has two who when combined remind me of Devon. (at least her size)
2. I can finally relax, I don' t have to worry about the apartment being spotless and I don't have to show the house around to any strangers.
3. I have a beautiful view of the pool AND a pass! So I get to lay by the pool :)
4. Dad and I like the same type of foods, and eat the same way...(we are grazers)


It is going quite well...

I Don't Know If I Should Stay

I am generally a happy person, never been the type to be incredible negative, although I definately have an anxiety problem.

So what brings me to where I am today is my stress and anger management issues...I am covered in ink. So are my walls and ceiling, laptop, hands, arms, face, and phone. Plenty of factors have been causing me headaches, insomnia, and mood swings. So while trying to curb the edge of my anger -brought on by stress- I tried counting, breathing, meditating, screaming into a pillow, etc. None of these worked. I found a pen, and snapped it in half. Finally relieved I opened my eyes to horror. Well if you can call it that. I have honestly never felt such a rush of emotions, as I did in that moment. I immediately started to hysterically laugh, as the jet black (water proof) liquid ink dripped down the walls (and my face). Then I began to cry, tears weren't even coming out. Needless to say I wasn't angry anymore.

I called my sister S, she laughed. While I was explaining it, the reasons behind everything I did and how I decided to fix things just seemed so stupid. But my current situation was lacking everything but an impending doom. I must have sounded insane because while I was crying and sobbing, I couldn't help but hysterically laugh at the same time. S having the experience with crisis phone calls calmed me down. Then after a good 15 minutes of me cackling/crying "The ink...it's EVERYWHERE." S asked calmly... "Alright so what did we learn from this" I couldn't answer, and to be honest I don't remember if I said anything. I was in shock. I had just ruined an entire room with one quick snap of a pen...I bet you a damn butterfly was flapping it's wings somewhere...

I digress: Long story short after screaming like a three year old on the telephone with my sister, I hung up and found the extra paint for the walls and I am going to call my father early tomorrow to bring over supplies, to paint the walls QUICKLY...it doesn't help that we are selling the house. So much for no paint job required.

I will leave this post, to take a hot bath (which is probably what I should have done in the first place), and answer S's question from earlier: My friend B is right I shouldn't "hulk out" on pens again, especially if they are green, the irony would be too much to bear...

Leaving

My obsession with books might have gotten out of hand today. Luckily my mother was with me so, she bought the seven books I wanted. (God Bless Her) But hey she could be feeding an addiction a lot worse, and plus we are members at Barnes and Noble, so we got 40% off on two of the books. Needless to say this didn't silence her "Jesus Christ!" as I hauled the books to her to see if she could help me pick one, (or two). Oh and I believe I should mention that I was totally going to pay for my own books. I believe her patience to deal with me saying, 'Well Augusten Burroughs IS genius, but a little chick lit never hurt anyone" had been lost after the third mention of "but I really wanted to get this one." Also it was hard for me to pick when the seven books were by three of my favorite authors. To make a long story short, I will be fed less this week, but my reading material will be phenomenal!

I already finished the first book and it was amazing. Check out the Ivy League Novels. If you enjoy semi chick lit, in a college setting, random sex scenes, and creepy edge-of-your-seat secret society conspiracies, pick them up! I was lucky, I didn't realize that just yesterday the third installment had come out, so I bought that as well. <-- or my mother, for story telling purposes I will be more relative with my pronouns, please forgive- Anywho, now I am on my way to beginning that one.

After my Ivy League Novels are finished -atleast till the next one comes out, summer 2009 for your information- I will read Emily Giffin's Love the One Your With, then Augusten Burroughs' Dry, Sellivision, and A Wolf at The Table. Chick Lit may not be for everyone, but if you have yet to read anything by Auguten Burroughs you need to. He is absolutely brilliant. I have actually yet to read is best selling novel Running With Scissors, which is what he is most famous for. I will get to that.

First, I have to get through my current books. Then find a way to pay back my wonderful mother who funds my addiction, and is probably keeping many of Barnes and Noble employees fed. I should have them all sign a thank you card and then I can get a library card...more on that later...

The Littlest Things

So while I was sorting out my belongings to pack, I found some fantastic souvenirs from my life. This I had to share, it is a letter from a friend of mine who informs me of a special skill to have:

"That is all too humorous, I must say...

Of course, I feel it my duty as the wise old geezer I am to ensure you that you take a valuable life lesson from all of this. No matter how much you despise someone, never EVER publish those feelings in writing, especially not in public domain. One thing I have learned regarding these matters is that no matter how badly you verbally bash someone, even if it is to the absolute wrong people, with a little careful thought and planning, you can spin it all off and come out relatively unscathed. A talented spin doctor can call someone a dirty bastard to their face and 3 minutes later have that person buying them drinks. However, the moment you write your feelings down and someone reads the, no amount of spin can erase those words for they will forever be a testament in ink and parchment to your malice and lack of judgment.

I think very little, if anything at all, of the majority of people I meet in life, but no matter how detestable a person is, I will always put on a smile and listen blankly with hollow interest to their useless banter. It may seem as if that is coddling to the feelings and desires of others, but in reality, it is simply good public relations which I have learned, is the key to success in nearly every profitable domain.

I'll talk to you soon my favorite

Cheers

_________"


After reading this, I retract what I said about Bath and Body Works. :)

Bottle it Up

I recently realized that I am in a state of immobility. I feel as if people are moving around me at lightening speed, while I simply participate by making cameos in their busy lives. KM is in Spain, BD, ML, SS, all left for Kentucky, JH has drum corps every weekend and will be leaving on tour soon, MR recently got back from Indiana, and my mother has been busy flying to Denver, driving to Ocean City, and back home periodically.
I go to work, take care of the apartment, and then hang out with physical memories. JM is one of the best examples, an old flame who has returned to the friend zone. I enjoy hanging out with him even though his visits are often ladened with awkwardness left over from not enough closer. Our break up was rough and it's pointless to bring up a sore subject, that will be impossible to let go if discussed again.
MH doesn't embody the girl I remember so much as crush the memory of who I knew the first few years we were friends. This is not a bad thing, she's just different, to the point where she sometimes concerns me. I have told her about it, but I know she's a big girl and can take care of herself.
I do things, I'm not bored. I'm just wavering from the consistency of familiarity in my life right now. I know my apartment, I know work, and I know my friends well. I just want to experience difference in my routine. I am of the disorder of loving change and the unknown. I get restless if everything stays the same for to long.

As my mother has always said: "Familiarity breeds contempt."

Well I agree, hopefully I will experience something new soon...before I break out in hives...

more on this later